date: Friday, July 10, 2009 @ 12:01 am
title: Calculating
For the past few days, I have been getting dreams after dreams. Good ones and bad ones. The more I dream, the more I see "secrets". Quite fun. Gotta to write it down, when it comes to pass. Then I saw people I saw it coming in my dreams.
Been evalutaing myself as a person, a friend, a leader, a son. I look at my own report card. it failed pretty bad. Maybe its those days that I think too much that I overdrove my brain. After the fall of Man, we have been using only 3% of our brain's full potential. Even if you are a gifted, you use only 10%. I'm not sure how many percent I used, but I know one things for sure. I had brain cramps. so bad that I feel sick just thinking. Not H1N1.
As a person: How's my relationship with God? How's my relationship with people? How's my finances doing? How current am I?
As a friend: How in touch am I with them? How much I know how they are? How much time I take aside to keep them in prayers?
As a leader: How much am I a chief feeder? How much am I a chief leader? How responsible am I?
As a son: How much am I carrying the burden of my spiritual parent and parents?
And I realised. You cannot measure up to the standards. It is sky high. But you can measure up according to my faith - expectations. I came to notice that as my expectations of myself goes on notch, I start to enjoy life more. My self-esteem gets better. My self-image becomes clearer. My self-motivation is at gear 5.
What is life without evaluating yourself? You are bluffing yourself.
Anyway some secrets are best kept as secrets. Time will tell. My white-turned-yellow pages will be my witness. Back to work.
